Post by mariolord on May 25, 2012 10:07:54 GMT -6
I created this for one of your contests a long time ago, Wild!
A Day In the Life of a Red Shirt
Ensign Redshirt awoke with a start. This usually happened either when he was late for a duty shift or if he put too many peanuts in his Dr. Pepper. This time it was more likely he was late for a duty shift, since he hadn’t had any Dr. Pepper last night. He quickly dressed in his favorite (and quite incorrect) uniform, a standard red colored one from the 23rd century. His commanding officers didn’t even ask about it anymore. Strangely enough, he never noticed the similarity between his name and his uniform, but anyone who wears a 100 year old uniform has to have problems.
On his way out, the door almost chopped his head off, except at that moment, Ensign Redshirt shot out his arms to stretch and managed to keep the door at bay. Happily ignorant of this near death experience, he made his way to the engineering section of the galaxy class starship Enterprise to report to Commander La Forge for his assignment. Making his way through the corridor, he decided to take the Jefferies tubes. Just as he entered one on his left, a plasma conduit ruptured, which would surely have killed him had he not taken the Jefferies tube. Still blissfully ignorant of the dangers around him, he made his way through the tubes.
Ensign Redshirt liked the Jefferies tubes, in part for the smell of the plastic coating that engineers put over the metal floor to keep it from causing too much pain when someone crawls through them. Taking a deep breath, enjoying the smell, he contemplated how he wouldn’t give his job up for anything, except maybe for some Dr. Pepper with extra peanuts, but he could replicate himself that on his off duty hours. He suddenly had the strong urge to initiate a site to site transport to engineering. The moment he dematerialized, the Jefferies tube collapsed, which surely would have killed him had he not transported away.
Arriving in engineering, Commander La Forge gave him a once over, not very surprised at the unusual mode of transportation, seeing Ensign Redshirt wore a 100 year old uniform. Sighing, Commander La Forge gave him his display pad with his instructions for the day’s shift. Looking it over, Ensign Redshirt noticed that it was his usual, and favorite, shift: scrubbing the plasma conduits on deck 9. Heading to the turbolift, he noticed that there was a can of Dr. Pepper and a bag of peanuts in it. Now running, he made it inside the turbolift, quickly told the computer to go to deck nine, and began putting his peanuts in his Dr. Pepper.
You may find it strange that there would be Dr. Pepper and peanuts in the turbolift, but he leaves it for himself after every shift. He always forgets this though, and is delighted to see that somebody (obviously himself, but he doesn’t know that) has put in his favorite snack. It just so happens that Commander La Forge had just been taken over by some insane alien entity, and was about to kill Ensign Redshirt. If Ensign Redshirt hadn’t left out his snack the previous day for him to run and get now, Commander La Forge should surely have killed him in a most unpleasant way.
Grinning to himself at having a secret admirer (again, himself), he exited the turbolift after finishing his snack and headed for the plasma conduits. After thoroughly scrubbing the plasma conduits on the walls, he began the ceiling ones. He decided that it would be easier to get to them if he used a phaser to cut through the ceiling. This, of course, caused a collapse of the ceiling, blocking traffic through that corridor. Luckily for Ensign Redshirt, a bunch of Borg had just transported on the other side of the debris that he caused, keeping him safe from assimilation.
Normally you would think that something like collapsing a ceiling would be a cause for some fear of your superiors, but Ensign Redshirt optimistically decided that it would give people more exercise to take a detour and that his superiors would be pleased. Finally, he was done with his work, and entered the turbolift to get back to his quarters (after he put his favorite snack in the turbolift for the next day, of course.)
As soon as he put in his destination, the turbolift went into a freefall. Ensign Redshirt, however, was more concerned with some dirt that was on the wall, and was trying with all of his might to get it off. Seconds before the turbolift was going to crash, the safety relays engaged saving his life. Stepping out of the turbolift, he made his way back to his quarters and into his bed. It had been a long day, but ultimately satisfying. Tomorrow was a day off, and he was looking forward to “relaxing”.
A Day In the Life of a Red Shirt
Ensign Redshirt awoke with a start. This usually happened either when he was late for a duty shift or if he put too many peanuts in his Dr. Pepper. This time it was more likely he was late for a duty shift, since he hadn’t had any Dr. Pepper last night. He quickly dressed in his favorite (and quite incorrect) uniform, a standard red colored one from the 23rd century. His commanding officers didn’t even ask about it anymore. Strangely enough, he never noticed the similarity between his name and his uniform, but anyone who wears a 100 year old uniform has to have problems.
On his way out, the door almost chopped his head off, except at that moment, Ensign Redshirt shot out his arms to stretch and managed to keep the door at bay. Happily ignorant of this near death experience, he made his way to the engineering section of the galaxy class starship Enterprise to report to Commander La Forge for his assignment. Making his way through the corridor, he decided to take the Jefferies tubes. Just as he entered one on his left, a plasma conduit ruptured, which would surely have killed him had he not taken the Jefferies tube. Still blissfully ignorant of the dangers around him, he made his way through the tubes.
Ensign Redshirt liked the Jefferies tubes, in part for the smell of the plastic coating that engineers put over the metal floor to keep it from causing too much pain when someone crawls through them. Taking a deep breath, enjoying the smell, he contemplated how he wouldn’t give his job up for anything, except maybe for some Dr. Pepper with extra peanuts, but he could replicate himself that on his off duty hours. He suddenly had the strong urge to initiate a site to site transport to engineering. The moment he dematerialized, the Jefferies tube collapsed, which surely would have killed him had he not transported away.
Arriving in engineering, Commander La Forge gave him a once over, not very surprised at the unusual mode of transportation, seeing Ensign Redshirt wore a 100 year old uniform. Sighing, Commander La Forge gave him his display pad with his instructions for the day’s shift. Looking it over, Ensign Redshirt noticed that it was his usual, and favorite, shift: scrubbing the plasma conduits on deck 9. Heading to the turbolift, he noticed that there was a can of Dr. Pepper and a bag of peanuts in it. Now running, he made it inside the turbolift, quickly told the computer to go to deck nine, and began putting his peanuts in his Dr. Pepper.
You may find it strange that there would be Dr. Pepper and peanuts in the turbolift, but he leaves it for himself after every shift. He always forgets this though, and is delighted to see that somebody (obviously himself, but he doesn’t know that) has put in his favorite snack. It just so happens that Commander La Forge had just been taken over by some insane alien entity, and was about to kill Ensign Redshirt. If Ensign Redshirt hadn’t left out his snack the previous day for him to run and get now, Commander La Forge should surely have killed him in a most unpleasant way.
Grinning to himself at having a secret admirer (again, himself), he exited the turbolift after finishing his snack and headed for the plasma conduits. After thoroughly scrubbing the plasma conduits on the walls, he began the ceiling ones. He decided that it would be easier to get to them if he used a phaser to cut through the ceiling. This, of course, caused a collapse of the ceiling, blocking traffic through that corridor. Luckily for Ensign Redshirt, a bunch of Borg had just transported on the other side of the debris that he caused, keeping him safe from assimilation.
Normally you would think that something like collapsing a ceiling would be a cause for some fear of your superiors, but Ensign Redshirt optimistically decided that it would give people more exercise to take a detour and that his superiors would be pleased. Finally, he was done with his work, and entered the turbolift to get back to his quarters (after he put his favorite snack in the turbolift for the next day, of course.)
As soon as he put in his destination, the turbolift went into a freefall. Ensign Redshirt, however, was more concerned with some dirt that was on the wall, and was trying with all of his might to get it off. Seconds before the turbolift was going to crash, the safety relays engaged saving his life. Stepping out of the turbolift, he made his way back to his quarters and into his bed. It had been a long day, but ultimately satisfying. Tomorrow was a day off, and he was looking forward to “relaxing”.
